THE RED THREAD

In the past week, I have been lucky enough to meet with colleagues/friends from all over the world. We are all, or have been, image consultants and this is why our chats are so fulfilling.

When I first began my career in this field, I had no idea where I would go. In the past 20 years I have pretty well travelled the globe, meeting with thousands of like minded individuals in the process. I like to think that I have contributed to their education and they to mine.

They are my TRIBE and I truly feel it’s where I rightly belong.

In prehistoric times it was usual for people to move about in clans. They needed to. If they didn't there was far more danger of them being killed by some predatory beast or being abandoned to fend for themselves. Without support from the rest of the tribe, survival was almost impossible so it was imperative that they fitted in. Nothing much has changed. You only have to watch football supporters to have evidence of that. The blue shirts versus the red ones tell us all there is to know about which tribe the wearer of that shirt belongs to. This is no longer about survival but to be accepted remains at the very forefront of our existence. We all have a compulsion to fit in, to belong and to be an integral part of our community wether it be related to our work, our home or our social activities.

This need for external acceptance is mostly evidenced when it comes to how we choose to dress ourselves. We demonstrate our allegiance to our social groups and distinguish ourselves from others through our clothing. When we are young, the need to be like everyone else is a vital part of growing up. Many of today's young people will tell you that their tattoo is an individual expression of who they are but at least 1 in 3 have them! When I was young, there were (and had been) many tribes to choose between - hippies, goths, rockers, mods, punks, new age and so on - and the way we fitted in was by wearing the appropriate outfits. Many now take their lead from social media platforms dictating which trends to wear to be part of the ‘in-crowd’ so the pressure can be even more intense.

So, when do we take a stand and say - 'OK. This is ME. This is how I want to show up. This is how I choose to dress because it feels like me, looks like me and represents who I am'?

Many clients whatever their age, still live with the perceived fear of not fitting in. They feel 'different' to their friends, don't always look like their husband would wish, are still holding onto a corporate uniform even though they retired long ago. What a shame. They cannot see how gorgeous and beautiful they are. How unique and special. They are dimming their brightness by following like sheep and not shining their own powerful light. Without this, the confidence they gain from dressing to another's tune is very short lived. No-one can dress like another person successfully for very long unless in the acting profession. It's no surprise that this results in closets packed with a zillion items - rarely worn - or they have nothing at all that’s suitable. The decision regarding what to wear takes forever or it means yet another shopping trip looking for that elusive 'let me fit in' outfit.

So, back to the title of this post - The Red Thread - a metaphor common in Nordic countries. It relates to an imaginary long connected thread, sharing their highlighted characteristics across the four countries. In woven materials, this thread would connect themes, ideas, stories, design, and I am including people here. This is why my colleague and I are always bonded. I can honestly say that none of us dress in the same way. We all have completely different styles and values where our clothes are concerned BUT we are always happy to celebrate, recognise, connect, inform, inspire and support. It is a tribe, my tribe, or perhaps a better term, a community.

Here’s the Thing: Finding your instinctive, truly authentic style will allow you to live and breathe with confidence. It will make shopping easier and a joyful experience. Your clothes will love you and you'll love them back. You will look good and feel good. If that sounds great, then it's time to do something about it - JUST FOR YOURSELF. Break free from your past and take time, from now onwards, to embrace yourself in all your glory. Because as the advert says “You’re Worth It!”