In my 20+ years as an image professional I’ve made as many mistakes as anyone else in terms of my sartorial choices. I see this as a good thing. Why? Because it means I understand why we come home with items that looked great in the shop but have morphed into some horror story in front of our mirror. I totally get those times when your deciding mind must have been on a different planet when you made that particular choice – what were you thinking? All in all, I’m not perfect, so am fully able to empathise with others who have made similar mistakes.
I’ve also followed the ‘style rules’ to the letter and found that didn’t bring joy, happiness or authenticity into my life either. I may have pleased other people but my closet was telling a different story,
Failure is not something to be ashamed of because we can learn from it. It makes us stronger. It makes us wiser. We can laugh about it - in hindsight, at least.
Here is what I’ve learned about buying clothes. Clothes that can support your own unique personal style so you have a closet that truly works, functions and fulfills you in all areas of your life.
Link love to lifestyle
For many years I was an ardent fan of Dame Vivienne Westwood. I wore her clothes with aplomb and was pretty much admired in image industry circles for looking dramatic and very ‘English Eccentric’ – in a stylish way. I spent a small fortune, over many years, perfecting this look but there were a number of down sides.
1. As the clothes were fairly outrageous it was difficult to wear them multiple times as they had already been ‘seen’. They were what we call ‘statement pieces’ so had a limited shelf life. It was difficult to wear them to the supermarket (or any other ordinary place) without looking as though I was trying too hard. Unless you are a truly creative, over the top drama queen, ‘trying too hard’ is not something you need to aspire towards.
2. I only wore these particular outfits when I was out to impress. This meant image related conferences, networking meetings or seminars. I occasionally wore them in my one to one individual consultations but they had the ability to scare some clients, worried I would be asking them to dress the same way. They didn’t work well in the corporate market either so I also had to invest in other clothing to meet the needs of those particular clients. An expensive time, all in all.
3. The clothes were complicated. Sometimes I forgot how I was supposed to put them together. It became a time consuming puzzle, trying to work out what tie went where. I remember selling a thick wool Westwood cardigan, only to realise I had been wearing it upside down!
CPW (cost per wear) was very poor and though I was admired (I think) I never really got my money’s worth in terms of the joy quotient.
Buy clothes you’ll wear
These days I dress to suit my lifestyle rather than play to the audience or an occasion. I invest in neutral colours that I can mix and match in interesting ways – hence my ongoing love for Scandinavian design. Rather than buying statement pieces, I create looks that are attention getting, not due to their complexity or bold design, but by their very simplicity. Mixing proportions or adding a masculine touch, such as a Doc Marten boot, is as suitable for a trip to the supermarket as it is to see a client. It’s also more fun.
Make friends with In-between clothes
These are clothes you can wear pretty much all the time. They should constitute at least 90% of your wardrobe and the same percentage of your shopping time and budget. It pays to master the art of buying clothes you can wear straight out of the store – and that’s also a great indication of how much you love them. Spending more time getting inspired means spending less time and effort getting ready.
Find retailers that LOVE You
If you have an innate style, you don’t need a designer logo to advertise it. If you truly love designer clothes, then don’t let me stop you buying them. Skip this tip and move down the page. I was always anti high street. My view that everyone would be wearing the same clothes and my uniqueness would disappear has not panned out. It’s the way you wear your clothes that counts. I have 3 or 4 favourite stores (yes, that’s all) and I can pretty well count on them to deliver the goods every time. Do I dress like anyone else I know? Emphatically NO. By honing down your choices, it’s also quicker and easier to get a wardrobe that really works.
There is a catch. Just because a retailer ticks all the boxes one season does not necessarily mean it will the next. Changes in owner, manufacturer, the head buyer, cost cutting, target market and so on may mean that you’ll need to move on. Don’t get complacent. Always keep a look out for something new.
Comfort is key.
Comfort is a much maligned word but one with such powerful connotations. A rule of thumb - if it’s not comfortable in the shop it definitely will be 20 times worse once you’ve got it home. You cannot look and feel good if you are not comfortable. Check out whether you can walk, sit, move your arms, travel without creasing, that there is no sagging or bagging, it hides any areas of concern (i.e. it flatters your form) and it moves with you before you take it home. Don’t put up with anything less. This particularly applies to footwear. Blistered heels aren’t a great look.
Less is more
Says someone who used to have 5 bedrooms of triple closets stuffed full of clothes. You really do not need that much. Most of us could throw away 2/3rds of what we own and still have enough. Be aware that clutter is draining, mentally and physically. At the very least, it prevents you from moving on with your life, losing weight, getting promotion, finding love, increasing your business or financial prospects. Do not keep clothing that no longer fits – your lifestyle, your body, your personality or your intentions. Hold onto only those clothes that you love and will wear. Those that make you feel like you are ‘at home’. As we mature, we change both internally and physically so our clothing requirements need to keep pace. Get rid of anything that no longer serves you. This equally applies to accessories and cosmetics.
Mix old with new
I used to believe that you should get rid of anything that was over 2 years old. That’s another ‘rule’ I ignore. Some of my best pieces have been my friends for much longer than that. Mixing them with newer ones is the way to keep them fresh and exciting. The same applies to pairing expensive items with those that cost much less. It’s often too contrived, and not that stylish, to wear a label from head to foot. The uniqueness comes in how you team your garments together to make the look individually yours.
Life evolves. Your style must too.
I love fashion but it’s perfectly OK if you don’t. There is a world of difference between not wanting to be fashionable and looking dated and frumpy. Moving a hemline a few inches either way can add or subtract years from your age. Showcasing your best assets can do the same. Check out your make up and hair. Nothing is more aging than overly dark colored hair and thick powdery makeup.
If you’re going to wear something on its second time around, you will need to wear it differently. Shoulder pads a la 1990s will look just that. Of course, you could go the other way and become a slave to the trends. This can be just as aging. Trying too hard to look too young can have the opposite effect.
Look at magazines, see what’s out there and adapt it to your body, your life. Choose a colour, a silhouette, a theme that grabs your intention and go check it out.
You know best
Really – you do. Image consultants, well meaning friends, colleagues and sales people are all there to help you look the very best you can but, in the end, the only person that truly knows is YOU.
How many times have you bought something on the recommendation of someone you trust only to find that it remains, unworn, in the closet? There’s no doubt it looks fabulous but if you’re not feeling the love, there is a vital energy missing.
Pattern doesn’t always look great on my frame yet I can still be persuaded that it does. I can look fabulous in fitted clothes but I also know they won’t get worn. Similarly, jackets or coats that don’t fasten, flowing fabrics or garments with too much material will also remain unloved at the back of the wardrobe. I need simplicity and movement in my attire to feel confident and unencumbered. That means minimal jewellery and accessories too. Black is not ‘my colour’ but I love it, especially in the winter, so this is a ‘style rule’ I ignore. I’ve edited down what truly works for me by listening to my intuition and I’m so much happier now I’ve done so.
Go with your gut instinct. Listen to your inner voice and trust it. If that means you yearn for lime green with pink spots, then so be it. I had an urge for clothes in burnt orange many years ago. It shouldn’t suit me as I have cool skin but the urge did not lessen so I purchased a couple of cheaper items in that colour. To test it out. Everyone remarked on how well I looked in it. I later found that I had a depleted spleen, an earth organ. Deep orange is a colour associated with earth in Fashion Feng Shui so I was healing myself elementally via my clothing choices. Your gut is where your intuition lies and where most of your endorphins are stored (happy hormone) so it can definitely pay to go with your gut.
Dress from the inside out
It can help to have a style statement, mantra or something that describes the values you hold dear. This will be something that you live your life by. This will govern which rules to keep and which ones can be binned. It will describe what you stand for. Mine is ‘Simple with a Twist and it covers my entire life, not just my wardrobe choices. This includes what I eat, where I eat, with whom I mix, my clients, my hobbies, how I work and so on. Your clothing should be an outward expression of who you are, your values and experiences to date. We make judgments on appearance (that dreaded term First Impressions) in seconds so dress in a way that best reflects you, regardless of what others might think.
Stay curious
Even though you may have your own style nailed as you get older, there is nothing wrong with a tweak now and again. It keeps you fresh. A change in a trouser style or hem length, choosing a high waist instead of a lower one can alter the whole look of an outfit and the body within. I chopped off all my previously bleached hair to go grey, and was surprised how great it looked. Curiosity inside and outside of the closet keeps you young, vibrant, interesting and prevents boredom. I’m all over that one!
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