SHOPPING

A cycle is a predictable pattern or experience that repeats over and over again reinforcing previours behaviours, thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we may be aware of this, other times it might be subconscious or just waiting for the opportunity to show itself clearly.

When we are stuck in a cycle, on the proverbial hamster wheel if you like, there are clues into what our relationships with people, clothes, food, and life in general have been doing for us thus far. We just need to locate them. Without awareness, we remain perpetually stuck, continuing to go round and round, reaping the same results over and over again. I think it was Einstein that said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” It is certainly the case, that without awareness of what, and why, we are doing something, there is very little freedom to be gained.

One of the main things we can do to help us get off the treadmill is to garner trust. Trust with ourselves. Whether it’s an issue with overeating, clothing choices or unsuitable relationships/work, if we don’t tune in to what we are really feeling, we continue to pedal wildly without getting anywhere.

Intuition is not always readily available. Like any other skill, we need to practise. Eating well, with plenty of fruit and veg is one way to ensure our gut is happy. Although I am not an expert in nutrition, I know that if I eat at least 30 plus plants a week I just feel so much more alive. Happy, content, sunny, excited, joyful and all those other wonderfully positive emotions. There is a reason for this. The gut is linked to the brain by the vagus nerve, which acts like a telephone line to the brain. If your gut is happy, and it will be if your diet is as varied as possible, then your brain is too.

Trusting yourself is often very different to doing what books or other people say you ‘should’ do. I spent many, many pounds and many, many years reading self-help books only to realise that my answers were there all along - inside myself!

In terms of shopping for clothes, my mantra (courtesy of my husband) is ‘If you’re not sure, don’t do it.’ This has helped me on so many occasions to walk away from purchases that would have stayed, unworn, in my wardrobe if I had succumbed. In the past, I would have been hungry to buy something, anything in fact, but now the hunger has abated and I realise that to be pleasantly satiated, some clothes are better off left in the shop. I can create something quite divine from what I already own.

Feelings change, especially when hormonal. When we feel anxious, angry, lonely, tearful, hyper etc it’s best not to shop. Instead doing something nurturing, however difficult that might appear at the time, is a better option. The provision of self care, in ways other than shopping, will break the cycle and help you find your true bearings. Our natural instinct can be to berate or belittle ourselves by listening to the inner critic. Find kindness and compassion instead, and see how confidence begins to bloom.

Here’s the thing: Slowing down, being mindful, trusting your instincts are tools I have cultivated over the last few years. Are they natural for me? Absolutely not. I am someone who loves speed and excitement, but they kept me on the wheel of anxiety, spending money on clothes I couldn’t always afford, and feeling bad about myself as a result when they were rarely worn.

If you are also on the perpetual cycle, and not just a shopping one, give these tools a go. It might take time, but that’s ok - right!