For the last few weeks, I have had the urge to constantly weed out clothing in my wardrobe. I covet a simplicity, an ease, a peaceful calm when choosing what to wear. In previous years, this would be a twice a year practise when the seasons change and there is a need to swap the warmer textures for cooler fabrics. However, the urge has been quite demanding so I’ve gone with the flow to see what happens.
One thing I’ve always required from my outfits is the ability to feel good. First and foremost this means being comfortable. I loathe clothing that constrains and constricts my body. I always have. Slinky, bodycon, tight - not for me, even when I was young enough to carry it off. Many times I remember conversations with older women who berated me for not showing off my figure. They prophesied that one day, when I was older, I would regret not making the most of what I had. I’m glad to have proved them wrong.
I am also concerned with being appropriate. It’s one thing to show up as creatively or dramatically unique but another entirely to embarrass yourself or the event host.
I look for joy in every area of my life, and my wardrobe is no exception. To some, dressing with joy would mean lots of bright colours and/or patterns, a bold and dynamic approach to looking great. Once upon a time, this would have been me too.
Having been brought up with hand me downs until I was a young adult, I had no sense of style. In my 20’s -30’s my careers choices provided me with a uniform and a low grade pay scale. Until I met a corporate image consultant in my early 30’s, I had no idea of the power of clothing yet alone what I was meant to say through it.
Not one to usually look backwards, I recently realised that it can sometimes help us to see the why, and the how of where you are right now. After that initial consultation in 1991, the image consultant fully approved of my colourful skirt suits, my huge shoulder pads, the printed scarves and OTT statement pieces of jewellery. I’m sure I’m not alone in remembering when earrings were so large you had to remove them to answer the phone! My wardrobe was a riotous rainbow and I was known, and recognised, throughout the organisation for my styling - if not my work. Each day of the month, I wore a different suit - no expense spared. My shoe of choice was a stiletto with very high heels. I loved them and pretty much only removed them for bath and bed. Not surprisingly, I still have the tightest Achilles heels. I vaguely remember my first step class (also early 90’s) and how I couldn’t walk properly for nearly 4 days!
Towards the end of the 1990’s, trouser suits became de rigeur in the workplace. Up until this time, trousers were not allowed for female wearers. Seems incredible now, but that’s how it was. By this time, I was in a stressful place at work and no longer wanted to stand out from the rest. To fit in, I followed the crowd wearing navy or black trouser suits with a white shirt. The heels stayed.
Moving onto the early 2000’s, stress, redundancies, getting married and a hospital procedure made me look at things differently. I quit my job and trained as an image consultant.
One of the first things you learn is colour analysis. I was a summer - soft, cool, muted. I didn’t want to be a summer, so I bleached my hair platinum blonde, wore brighter colours, dramatic patterns and made a name for myself globally as someone unorthodox. When you are in the image industry, there is a pressure (most likely self inflicted) to look like you belong there. This is what I did - with great gusto. I wore Vivienne Westwood top to toe at every conference and consultation. Some pieces were so complicated, I couldn’t remember how to get in or out of them. My platinum hair gained heather highlights and then became totally purple. I was bright and bold and you could sure tell I was in the room.
Some people are very intuitive and instinctively drawn to clothes that look great on them. When trying on individual garments they easily find the perfect accessory or know immediately that they need to shorten a hemline, without really knowing (or asking themselves) why. Others will go through some kind of analytical process before they decide what to wear. They may have learned they have short legs (as an example) so require clothes that create the illusion of length or that their slim shoulders are best flattered with a wider neckline. For them, style is something that has some ‘rules’ attached if they are to look and feel their very best.
On becoming a new image consultant it made sense that I should follow the principles and rules I was to use with my clients. However, I now realize that this wasn’t always totally successful. As I’ve grown more confident with my self, my style has become far more intuitive. I’ve learned to go with my gut instinct regarding what looks and feels right for me at any one time.
My current wardrobe edit has left a neutrally soft palette of darker colours. Simple styling, quality fabrics. A mix and match heaven. It may seem boring to some, but to me its pure joy.
Yesterday, the Sunday Times Style magazine contained an article about Mary Portas, someone who I admire greatly. For those of you who don’t know her, she was named ‘Mary, Queen of Shops’ on British TV and was instrumental in turning round the fortunes of the Harvey Nicols department stores, as well as creating an upswing in charity store shopping and retailing in general. Once known for her bright orange bobbed hair and dramatic accessories, she has also now adopted a softer look. Like me, she prefers looser, more casual cuts these days. Gone are the statement jewellery and her hair is now a looser style in a blondish grey. She too has curated her wardrobe and thinks wearing the same clothes more than once - even at public events - is the new way of doing things. “New, new, new no longer looks modern and forward -thinking” is what she now believes.
Having been brought up with cast-offs, I can not see my way to buying second hand or vintage but I do support circular fashion and all my clothes get sold via an agency, hopefully passing on the love. Like Mary, I am buying quality over quantity and choosing investment pieces that don’t date. I also concentrate on purchasing clothes that I will wear all of the time. I call them ‘Nearby’ pieces and they are used, as well as useful. If a special event looms, I will rent.
So here’s the thing. Life evolves, style evolves. What you wore and what you wear can seem very different. What remains constant is what I call ‘clothing values’. What your clothes have to do for you to really work. For me it is about movement. If I cannot move in my clothes, I cannot think straight. If I can’t think, I can’t find joy. I have to be physically comfortable (watch me in the changing rooms waving my arms around like a banshee and testing my overlarge stride). Using the Pareto’s Rule theory, comfort would equal 80%. The other 20% would be more fluid. This allows me to change how I look according to my mood, my life, my needs. In the past, I dressed my comfort, creatively, then it became more dramatic. Now I seek it in a simplistic, understated way. Variety is the key for me but not at the expense of representing who I am at my core. I know when I’ve got it right because my entire wardrobe is a haven of pieces I love that can be mixed and matched and make me feel good. Just like it is right now.
Back to Black it is…..
What is it for you?
Well done on choosing this amazing platform to share your thoughts and write them down so eloquently. You have almost written word for word the story of my style life journey. I, too, was inspired by the article in the Times on the changes experienced by Mary Portas. As a retired English teacher ( I had to take early retirement because of ill health) I looked very hard at what had happened to me and where would I go in the future. My self esteem was at rock bottom. I had been told there was a great future ahead of me in school management but in taking that road I left the very thing I loved the most and that was the classroom.
I had always valued other people’s advice as better than my own instinct and I allowed them to shape me even when I knew that it made me unhappy or uncomfortable. My anorexia had stemmed from a very unstable childhood and a need to be accepted. I thought that being thin would make me a better person from the tall, healthy and curvy girl that I was. Instead it became a monster that I allowed to control me. In recent years I have received the most wonderful counselling and feel stronger than I have felt in a long time. I wasted so much money looking for style advice and ways that I thought might make me happy. What I have learned is that style advice, colour analysis and wardrobe decluttering is only valuable when you stay true to yourself and your needs. I didn’t feel like a dramatic classic but I thought that maybe I should adopt this style. My wardrobe filled up with clothes that overwhelmed me. I wore the Soft Summer colours but they didn’t capture the sunny disposition that was mine in my childhood. I like that you encourage listening to the ‘voice’ inside and wearing what makes you function as the person you really are. I like colour but it has to be that reflected in my love of nature and the Northern light. I like comfort in my clothing and minimalism. I wear my hair very short because I like to feel neat and uncluttered. I bleach it because light hair lifts my mood and I am not going silver as I grow old! It is my one nod to the dramatic in me.
Your article filled me with joy because it truly spoke to me and made so much sense. To listen to your own voice amidst all the noise that surrounds us is truly inspiring. As my counsellor told me - diminish that anorexic voice, quieten it and give it no credit whatsoever. Thank you, Sue.
Firstly, congratulations on your new platform; i am really enjoying reading such interesting stories :)
Secondly, I recently read an article about the 'uniform'. As you mentioned many industries provide, or require, a uniform to be worn. A corporate uniform can speak volumes yet doesn't necessarily distinguish the personality, character or wealth of a person. It also makes life easier in the mornings when the thought of " what shall I wear?" is removed therefore allowing extra time. Threfore after reading your article I wondered just how many more of us, consciously or unconsciously, have welcomed a lifestyle uniform similar to yourself in a world so full of choice.