TUESDAYS CHILD

“Tuesday’s Child is full of grace”. This is me, or at least it should be. My mum intimated often that I must have been born on the wrong day as I was so clumsy. Even though I’m quite small I walk heavily, like an elephant.

Admittedly, I think the word ‘grace’ may be different to ‘graceful’ but, in essence, she was – and still is – correct in what she said. I am a messy human being. Although I like, even covet, order and neatness in my life it doesn’t stay that way for long.

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t live with chaos. I can be very structured and logical in my approach to life. It’s more concerned with my inherent lack of refinement. If any of you remember the next door neighbour in the TV series “Keeping Up Appearances” and her general ineptitude with Hyacinth’s Royal Doulton – you will get the picture!

I love a clean house but when I attempt this household task I create more smears than were there originally. It’s like I just move the dirt around.

Ironing is also an issue. Not only do I loathe it - for me this is absolutely not a peaceful and calming meditative ritual as it is for some - but my clothes look more wrinkled after I’ve finished.

So, it is with both anticipation and trepidation that I agreed to moderate/host two zoom sessions both of which will be exploring the world of elegance

The word ‘elegance’ has two origins – the Middle French word elegantia, meaning ‘choiceness’ and the Latin word ēlegāns meaning ‘tasteful’. It’s also related to the root ēligere ‘to select’. Synonyms for the word ‘elegant’ are polished, courtly, chic, classic, dignified, exquisite, stately, stylist, aristocratic, cultured – all of this in an effortless, relaxed way.

Of course, elegance doesn’t have to be just about clothing or styling.

I notice the gentle, 80 plus lady in my local cafe drinking tea in a very sophisticated manner. The china of the cup and saucer look like they naturally belong in her life. My narrative is that tea is a ritual for her. That she never, ever throws a tea bag in a mug like I do. That the pot will always be warmed and the milk placed in the cup before the tea has been brewed for the required amount of time to provide the perfect flavour.

My neighbour, maybe not the most dapper dresser in the street, has an exquisite lawn which appears immaculately manicured due to his prowess with various gardening tools. The leaves, from the multitude of trees lining our avenue, never seem to fall on his land like they do on mine - constantly.

A lady in my yoga class is elastic personified, making every pose look effortless. The grunting and groaning from the rest of us highlights the often complex and tortuous nature of this ancient practise which appears to have totally bypassed her.

A friend lives a clutter free existence, with white walls and a minimalist approach to decoration in her peaceful, calm and elegant haven of home. Her wine glasses are exquisite - and so is the wine!

In Fashion Feng Shui, my system of choice, the Metal element personifies those who are naturally elegant. Chic, understated, refined, organised. The ‘less is more’ crowd. Since turning 60, I have actively moved towards finding this part of myself. Using discernment as my focus results in a wardrobe that is more refined both in quality and quantity. My palette is cool and neutral, though I sometimes add bright footwear to prevent my style becoming totally nondescript. Overall though, I direct my attention towards a monochromatic design. But here’s the thing. Despite all of this, I still don’t LOOK elegant. Stylish - perhaps but elegant - definitely not.

Elegance can mean a curated life, a life of refined choices, luxurious yet simple tasteful, graceful, with an overall excellence. BUT is elegance something that all of us  can cultivate? Does it become a part of us so, ultimately, we don’t have to think about it daily? It just ‘is’? Or is it the case that if you don’t have it, you never will, whatever you do?

If any of this resonates with you I’d love to explore further. How do YOU put elegance into your life? Does it actually matter to you or do some of you find the very thought of elegance abhorrent? Is it inevitable that we all desire some of it in our lives as we get older or is a more creative, individualistic path a better choice for you?

Your thoughts please.