There is a style concept known as ‘One Mile Wear’. It originated in Japan and I guess it doesn’t need too much in the way of explanation. It certainly relates to me, as it concerns those clothes that are worn within a 1 mile radius of your home. In my case, this is pretty much 90% of my wardrobe. Although I am an image professional, most of my work is now done online so I’m at home a lot. My face to face training is mostly carried out in other countries.
I live in a small market town where fashion doesn’t seem to be at the top of anyone’s hit list. Even though I’m not particularly bothered about what people think, it has toned down my style over the 10 or so years I’ve been living here. Gone are the Vivienne Westwood clothes and the bright colours. My ‘go-to’ now is a simple dress, a jumpsuit or jeans/trousers worn with a sweater.
My style statement is ‘simple with a twist’ and I pretty much stick to that when buying anything new. I’m not good wearing ‘ordinary’ or ‘bland’. So, my footwear choices are often the ‘twist’ in the outfit. My favourite biker boots, unusual trainers, flatforms or the occasional heel means I can still look edgy while being able to walk. I always have to feel inspiration from my clothing (which is why I’m not great at choosing outfits ahead of time).
I came across a quote a few years ago from the designer, Amy Smilovic, and the content, for me at least, is still relevant.
‘You know what sucks? When someone sees you on the weekend and they say, ”Wow, you look great – are you going somewhere?” What they really mean is that you look good, but you’re not appropriately dressed. The goal is for someone to say, “You look great”, and the subtext is that you don’t look like you’re going to a cocktail party when you’re at soccer practice with the kids – you just look like yourself’.
This is just so true. Here are a couple of examples:
Brides waltzing down the aisle in yards of tulle, hair in a complicated ‘up’ style, plastered in so much make up that I doubt their poor husband-to-be even recognises them.
Women dressing formally, in an attempt to gain authority, inadvertently ageing themselves by 10 years. Ditto for most female TV newsreaders. See them outside of the work environment and they look younger, fresher, happier because they are dressed more authentically.
I doubt that either of these examples fall under the One Mile Dressing concept.
Why is it that we need to dress to be something we’re not?
Well, there could be many reasons:
Fear: For me, this is the BIGGY. We’re terrified of what other people might think of us and what they will say. So, we dress with them at the forefront of our minds. This is not age related. Younger people belong to a tribe with its own dress code and they will do anything to fit in. At the school gates, many women dress with the other mums in mind. For older women, it’s the ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ syndrome that’s scary. Dressing fashionably could cause comments along the lines of “Who does she think she is?” So, we stick to smart, traditional and boring because it’s less likely to be ‘labelled’.
Lifestyle changes: Women recently retired from positions of authority can find it difficult to dress for their new, more casual, lifestyle. The business suit (or equivalent) was a trusty uniform of sorts. More casual attire equates to ‘scruffy’ or underdressed. Their perceived power has gone, so they stick to what they know in an effort to keep it.
New mums may find it too exhausting to look nice. The time and effort spent with a little person (or two) can change how they feel about spending time and effort on their own needs – and that includes how they look.
Fashion: Some people will slavishly follow fashion at all costs. It doesn't matter they are only shopping at the local supermarket. They still need high heels, designer labels (or copies) to make a statement. This way of dressing can provide a feeling of superiority or that they are a fully paid up member of a specific group of people who all dress in this way. It’s also a very expensive way to dress. Regardless, of any individual garment cost, the constant replenishing of clothing so as not to be seen in the same thing twice, can be prohibitive. This is particularly relevant now with the growth of Instagram and other Social Media.
Weight/body issues: “I’ll smarten up when I lose weight” or “I’ll wear black because it’s slimming”. Both of these statements are common but also restrictive. Every one of us is beautiful in our own way and dressing our beauty should be a joy. What if you never lose weight? Does that mean you’ll only dress in black from now until your funeral? Think about it. Dress in a way that makes you feel special right now.
Attitude: “I never look good, so I can’t be bothered to make the effort to buy nice clothes”. This is the total opposite of Amy Smilovic’ s example but I still come across it more often than I wish. This can reflect people who just don’t think they are ‘worth it’. What would happen if they DID make the effort? How would their lives change? We’re back to the fear factor again.
Of course, there are people who really don’t care how they look. To be fair to them, if that’s a really authentic belief, at least they are being true to themselves. They are being honest about who they are and how they appear.
Outdated Beliefs: So, someone told you that you had ugly feet, or a large bottom, and you are still dressing to camouflage the offending area? The fact it was 25 years ago and from someone you have no respect for is immaterial. These things hurt. And they linger. But are they still true? Give yourself a break and show some compassion for each piece of your body. Remind yourself how much it gives to you on a daily basis. Dress it with love and care, even if it’s not your favourite feature.
Here’s the thing: when you are pondering on what you are going to wear, ask yourself the following 3 questions:
Does it suit my mood today?
Does it ‘lift’ my energy when I put it on?
Am I comfortable wearing it (physically, mentally and spiritually)? This includes your body (of course) but also your lifestyle and your location.
The Japanese have a made a sartorial point, and it’s one I’m certainly going to stick to.
For me it has to be “do I feel comfortable” in what I wear. I have recently started to donate clothes that I put on and then take off because I don’t feel comfortable. I used to just put them back in the wardrobe and then a few months later I would put them on and take them off. It makes me smile just writing this down x
Thank you for your latest article, as always I thoroughly enjoyed it. The bit on fear resonates with me. I find myself thinking of the company I will be in and dressing accordingly. E.G dinner with my father requires a dress, below the knee and tailored. Never showing too much leg or cleavage and covering my menopause belly! My style is a work in progress, I have never quite been able to put my finger on it! I love the boho style, but always see it on young slim women, never middle aged plump women, so I have never been brave enough to go for it! Again, fear!
Your articles always brighten up my day and make me think every time xx