A WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE

One thing I ALWAYS seem to attract in my workshops is the willingness of those present to share their thoughts, giving genuine praise, positive strokes and an underlying confidence to one another by the truth of their words and actions.

One of the things that crops up, both regularly and globally, is how we want to be people pleasers. We want clothing that allows us to fit in. We don’t want to stand out or be seen as different in any way. It undermines our confidence by heaping on the stress when we get it wrong, or adding to our gloom when we feel like an outsider.

A generation ago, most older women disappeared into the background banished to a lifetime of wearing ‘beige’ and comfortable, frumpy clothes. But that was then. We know it’s different now. That doesn’t mean it’s easier.

The advent of a plethora of beautiful older women influencers, modelling in adverts, walking down catwalk and red carpet events and looking gorgeous on our TV screens can pile on the pressure. It seems there is little chance now of ever putting up your feet, expanding into elastic waistlines and not giving a toss what other people think. Whatever our age, we are expected to look youthful, vibrant, sexy and magnificent so the pressure continues to piles up.

In my world, looking good and feeling good on a regular basis will give you a high degree of confidence. That confidence spirals off positively into other areas of your life, attracting people/business to you and enhancing your life in general.

The secret is to find out what suits YOU. Not anyone else, just YOU. That sounds simple but it’s not always easy to do. That’s why image professionals exist. To help you find yourself and dress who you are inside, what makes you tick, your values and your desires.

When you surround yourself with things you love, that have meaning for you (whether it be your home furnishings, your friends, your colleagues or your clothing), your life will be happier. If this isn’t resonating, think of a job you might have had working with people you didn’t get on with – get the picture? This is what happens when you’re out of synch with your clothing. To be authentic, the inside and the outside need to match. When we are lost or in transition, our external self usually hasn’t caught up with our internal self.

As you may already know, I wear neutrals (black, navy, grey, white) pretty much all of the time. However, after my mum died I had a visceral urge to wear red. As luck would have it, I found a bright red sweater in the first store I visited. It was the only one in stock AND it was in my size. Since finding it, I have received numerous compliments on how it looks on me. Is this a coincidence? I don’t think so.

Here’s the thing: we are often wiser and more intuitive than we recognise. If we care to tune in, and take the time to do so, we can synchronise who we are and what we wear into providing an internal/external harmony and balance. I felt I needed some joy after the very long and protracted death of my mother. The red colour not only gave me that internally, but it looked good externally too.

Here are some questions to get you started:

1. If it truly didn’t matter what people thought, how would you love to dress?

2. How different is that to how you are dressing now?

3. What would it take for you to make the change?

4. How would you feel if you made the change? Use your imagination to really see, smell, taste, hear and feel this. Write it down if it helps.

5. What’s stopping you making the change?

6. What will it cost you, if you don’t?

7. What will it cost you if you do?